I posted some more photos from the wedding and birth!!!! Check em out, didnt have alot of time to be real creative

Happy Birthday Dad

Friday 20th April 2007 would have been my dads 57th Birthday.

Happy Birthday dad

Russell Crowe

I almost forgot to tell you

I SAW RUSSELL CROWE!!!! I was waiting to fuel up at the Woolworths petrol plus on Monday and looked over at this really nice car. I think it was an Audi?? It was black and looked really sleek. The number plate was GT C. So I'm staring at this car and then looked at the guy who was fueling up and it was Russell Crowe, in Taree at Woolworths petrol plus. Well blow me down!!

I said hi and he ignored me, so I said 'Hi Russell' and he ignored me again. I then thought it may have been a Russell Crowe look a like. My phone rang and it was Stephen. I told Steve that good ole Rusty was about 4 metres from me. He didn't believe me of course. So I called out to Russell and said 'Hey Russell can you tell my boyfriend you are here??" With that Russell said " Im filling up my car now with Petrol and can't come to the phone". He was so rude but when I think about it I was actually asking him to talk on a mobile phone with a petrol bouser right near him. I feel slightly silly now...hehehe

He was arrogant, and slightly rude and he could have smiled politely. I didn't want to take a photo incase he threw my phone at me or yelled at me. His presence came across as a big tough guy and he was very intimidating.

I guess if you choose to be a star you need to expect to be recognised and do your little bit of PR work and smile on occasions, after all it is people like me who buy his movies.

Anyways, thats another claim to fame for me.....

If I spread myself any thinner they would name a margarine after me!!!!

After my last post and whingeing about being bored (for a whole 4 hours), my week certainly heated up!! I'm going to have to do this post in stages as so many things happened its hard for me to think straight. So let me start at the very beginning......

My afternoon shift was terrible, baby's popping out everywhere, no time to have a break (which is nothing unusual)!! One lady even delivered as she was being pushed in on an ambo trolley- that's what I call an express lane!!! So I go home and trying to unwind decide to open a lovely bottle of red and drink it over a nice warm Mc Chicken...mmm..... I end up going to bed at about 1am happy that I would have a sleep in the next day... But NOOOOO.....Then this happens.....I get a text message from my friend Kylie at 4:16am:

'My fukn water broke 0330hrs! Had a showa ready to go wen time
rite, nuthn else diff.'

OMG!!!! Im her support person and at least 3.5hrs away!!!!

I jumped on the phone and yelled at her for not
ringing in case I missed the sms and while speaking to her managed to
get dressed and be in the
car and on my way within about 4 minutes..... She
wasn't in pain which was good and was quiet calm. I told her I was already on
the pacific highway on my way and would be there as soon as I could. She went to
wake her parents and daughter. I knew she had a 2 hour labour last time and was worried everything would happen quickly and I wouldn't be there in time
for her......I managed to reach the hospital just before 7am, in a record-
2.5hrs and was there 5 minutes before Kylie and her parents!

I should explain to you that Kylie was going solo with no partner, after 16 years we all thought she had found a really nice guy that she could settle down with- that was until the day he put a pillow over her head when she was 14 weeks pregnant and tried to suffocate her!!! Worse still I heard it all as I was on the phone to him trying to calm him down!!!! So as only a best bud would do I stepped in and took over the farchar (father) role. I went to most of her appointments, we went to the 4D ultrasound together and now I would be welcoming our little princess into the world..We even joined a website so we could talk to other expectant mothers that were due around the same time. We have made some nice friends and this has been really important as Kylie pretty much had no one else but me.

So........

The birth of....... (you gotta hear the story first!!)

Getting to the Hospital at 7am, we walk in only to be greeted by what I describe in my own words as cranky arse lesbian midwives(aka CALM) who seem to carry the weight of the world on their shoulders and take it out on poor unsuspecting mothers to be. Weren't they in for a shock when I walked in as a support person considering I chose to do my midwifery in a far more superior teaching hospital, and a voice to advocate for my mate Kylie.

From the word go, I had a feeling this was going to be a very long day. Ducking out for 5 minutes to buy Kylie a present, I received a call from her to come back straight away. When I got back, the doctor had been in to see her and said that even though her waters had broken they were going to leave her for 24hrs to see if she would go into labour by herself- funny thing was, she was already in labour!!! The CTG machine showed clear uterine activity and to palpate she felt like she was having good mild to moderate contractions with good tone but lacked intensity and Kylie was in absolutely no pain (yes, I was secretly palpating her belly to see...hehehe). Kylie was upset that she had to wait another 24hrs so me being me went out and spoke to the doctor and pretty much told them to induce her because that's what she wanted. The doctor agreed, the midwives were pissed off but at least they were not going to leave her hanging like a shag on a rock waiting for labour. At this stage she hadn't dilated (not that they knew as they hadn't done an internal yet) and it took them until 4pm to finally start the induction!!!

So we waited, mucking around taking photos, reading and eating, reading posts on our mummy's website and texting friends. We were having fun and Kylie was relaxed but yet I couldn't understand why she wasn't feeling the contractions. By 8pm she decided her mum and daughter were tired and should go home so it was just me and her. I was sooo tired and trying hard not to fall asleep as Kylie was wide awake. We went for walks, she had a shower, we talked to keep each other occupied but still nothing. This is weird, she was now having a good dose of the drug Syntocinon with no affect. Surely something must be going on.

It was at about this time that I decided to use the toilet in the room so I didn't have to walk 100 metres to the public one..I have an issue with public toilets (see previous posts).....Kylie needed to go straight after me and as I lay down resting on the recliner chair she called out these exact words "You dirty bitch, get your arse in here now". Before I had even got up off the chair I proclaimed my innocence declaring that if it was a pubic hair it wasn't mine as I was well and truly groomed in that department and I swear I did not piss on the seat. She started laughing and told me to get in here now. I reluctantly got up and walked in only to see a hospital towel floating in the toilet bowl...I must have knocked it in when I went. We both laughed so hard we were crying and when the CALM came in she thought we must of been the weirdest people, laughing at a wet towel. I couldn't even contain myself to walk out of the room and put it in the laundry skip. I would just crack up laughing.The toilet incident!!


It certainly made for a very light and funny moment. By 11pm Kylie's 3rd different CALM aka Midwife came on to look after her. I don't know what happened but I fell asleep and apparently was talking to Kylie, I think I said to her 'oh don't worry thats normal' (my answer for everything by then), she said I sounded funny but was just delirious from working for the past 5 days and having been awake for almost 24 hrs....

By 1am when nothing had started, and the induction was now 9 hrs into it with no painful contractions the Midwife decided to do an internal to see what was happening!!! Well hallelujah, there is a God, finally someone was going to see what was happening. The midwife told Kylie- either your baby is bald or you have membranes INTACT!!! Do you think they could have told the poor girl this 20hrs ago!!!!! The doctor was called and told Kylie she could either have her forewaters broken as she must have ruptured her hindwater membranes which meant that a pocket of fluid was preventing baby's head from moving down and her to dilate or they could wait to morning and do it then.....She told them to do it now!!!!`

Within about half an hour Kylie was in established labour and alot of pain...I can never describe the feeling I felt when she looked at me and begged me to do something. She wasn't coping with the pain. I've seen many ladies in labour but this was the worst and affected me because I had been there for her through all the ups and downs of being pregnant. I was trying not to cry and was having trouble hiding the fact that I felt so sorry for her and couldn't take the pain away. I now know how husbands feel- helpless is the only word. I talked her through every single contraction and ended up getting her some Nitrous Oxide. Its funny watching people suck the happy gas in, they say the strangest things. She was doing so well and after about an hour of hell she got an epidural. By 7am she was feeling the pain again and they gave her a top up. By 8am she was fully dilated and ready to push this baby out, only problem was, baby was now unhappy and Kylie couldn't feel anything. It was decided that a vacuum extraction might be the only answer.....

So with a drum roll it is with great pleasure to introduce our little princess

Amelia Jane weighing 3150gms and 48.5cm long.......

A very big thank you to our cyber friend and mum to be Shannon, aka crossing fingers and toes, for all the help and sms support you gave us during a very long labour.

We both ended up being awake for more than 30 hrs!!!!! I was exhausted.....

But for me it doesn't end there.

The next day I had to go to a wedding.....I was stuffed but drove the 3.5hrs back down to Sydney to attend my ex school mate and partner in crime Matthew and his now wife Kylie's wedding. I have lots of photos but I've been typing for ages so, Ive just attached 2. I'll post more photos tomorrow.

A Big Congrats to Matt and Kylie on a lovely day and a life of happiness. Kylie you looked beautiful and I hope your day was everything you dreamt of and more......

But it doesn't end there.....

I'm now back in Sydney after going home the following day and have to finish the week off before officially relocating to the staff quarters with the kids and nanny........I really should be skinny by now....and if I must say so myself I looked pretty hot at the wedding....hehehehe

My little angel

My darling baby boy decided to lock himself in the car yesterday with my mobile phone and car keys!!!! We ended up calling the NRMA to get him out but not before he rang a few people up and sent sms messages to people. He thought it was very funny. I only became concerned when he got the car keys (you can see them behind him on the seat), and put them in the ignition and tried to turn the car on!!!!! And they say boys are easier?????? Yeah right!

Lips of an angel

Song of the moment by Hinder:

Honey why are you calling me so late
It's kinda hard to talk right now
Honey why are you crying is everything okay
I gotta whisper cause I can't be too loud
Well, my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's funny that you're calling me tonight
And yes I've dreamt of you too
And does he know you're talking to me
Will it start a fight
No I don't think she has a clue
Well my girls in the next room
Sometimes I wish she was you
I guess we never really moved on
It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel

It's really good to hear your voice saying my name
It sounds so sweet
Coming from the lips of an angel
Hearing those words it makes me weak
And I never wanna say goodbye
But girl you make it hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
(And I never wanna say goodbye)
But girl you make it so hard to be faithful
With the lips of an angel
Honey why are you calling me so late

Gotta love this

You would be amazed at the amount of women who make sure they don't eat the wrong foods, etc when pregnant but light up a smoke in between contractions. Or decide to give up and go on a heath kick after the birth!!!! STOOPID...

What The????????? Elizabeth Taylor???

http://www.myheritage.com

I look like the kid out of the wonder years???? Thats so uplifting....Thanks Lana for giving me the idea to do this. Its always nice to know you look like a boy or man. And don't get me started on Elizabeth Taylor, she was 50 when this photo was taken.

Funny Joshua

Joshua is starting to come out with really funny things. He now says in a very clear voice:

Oh my God

God

Gasps then says god

Says "NOT" after a sentence.

Mine

Coby or Copie for Cody and Joel

Jess

He now also answers the phoneand can send sms messages......clever little boy

Tsunami Warning

Thank you to my dear, kind thoughtful friends who FAILED to INFORM me of an impending Tsunami!!!!!

In case you forgot, I live DIRECTLY opposite the PACIFIC OCEAN. I spent the whole day blissfully unaware that there was a Tsunami warning all up the east coast. I wasted many hours mowing the lawn and if I was aware would have spent the day perched high on a hill with a few bottles of wine....BUT NOONE CARED.

Because of ALL my friends (do I even have any) complacentness I've decided to do the only thing sensible and move to a safer place- WESTMEAD. Or at least for the rest of the year. Yep that's right, I am returning to the big smoke. My new home will be 'The compound' AKA the staff quarters. The boys are coming with me and so is my lovely nanny who is great.

Other than that, life moves on. I have a new hobby- pole dancing. Yep. Started last week with an informal attempt at a stop sign on the way home, and next week will begin professional classes. Seriously, its true, I'll take photos.....

Other than that, I'm learning how to put gloves on real fast when a baby decides to come into the world really quick.

Hello.........

Yes, I'm back, been a busy life I'm leading over the last few weeks. Done a few crazy things, shaved my head, went into rehab, went out of rehab, applied for a divorce, went back into rehab, lost custody of my kids, went out of rehab.......mmmmm life sounds oddly familiar....Oh yes and changed my name to Britney Spears...Haha

REALLY........I've been catching babies, going to uni, driving, looking after children, driving and catching babies.

Some days have been really strange, like yesterday for instance I....oh can't tell you that one......

Ok I've got one for you,

The other day was strange, I was having one of those days where everything seemed like something out of a Seinfeld episode.

First: I hate using public toilets but at uni don't mind as they seem quiet clean. So busting to use the lavatory, I was sitting in the cubicle when I heard this enormous 'man fart'. I was holding back laughing as it was obviously in a ladies toilet, but this fart would put any average male to shame. Huge, with great tone and intensity to say the least. So composing myself I walked out of the loo and washed my hands at the same time as another lady was. She turned and gave me a dirty look, like I was the mystery cubicle farter. OMG how embarrassing, I tried to use non verbal communication to let her know it wasn't me but she walked away. How horrible to know that someone in the world thinks I fart like a man.....

Second: I have a habit of not watching where I walk and trip over all the time. I was walking to the station to catch a a train home to Taree when I kicked a can and it hit the young guy in front of me and he trip over on it. Apparently a good Sydney friend of mine told me I've been in Sydney for too long as I walked straight past him like the rest of the crowd. I feel heaps guilty now, if it was up here I would have helped him up and had him over for dinner.

Third: Finally on the train I was able to rest. I sat in my seat which was next to the window and my neighbour for the trip to my right was an older man who stunk of crusty ass and alcohol. After 4 hours of this stench I decided to get up and get a coffee but he was asleep. So carefully planning my escape route, I placed my right hand on the top of his seat and lifted my left leg over his lap, right then the train went around a bend and as I straddled my stinky neighbour he woke up!!! Yep with me about an inch from his face. The two people behind us sniggered and I politely explained I wasn't taking advantage of him just trying to get out for a coffee and fresh air. When I came back, I found him asleep again so I attempted to get into my seat the same way (which was the only way). This time he stayed asleep but I secretly wonder whether or not he was really asleep or just pretending.

So that was just one of my days

This is pretty much a standard day for me with always something happening. I long for the day I have nothing exciting to say or drama to speak of.