This week saw me recieving news that an old school buddy of mine passed away in tragic circumstances. I was devasated and shocked. David "Wally" was always the fun one. Always the one joking around and the 'go between' guy working out everyones problems.
I last spoke to him 2 years ago, he seemed happy and content after having another little baby girl. I remember he wouldnt even come out for drinks with us and chose to stay home with his partner and help with the children.
My fondest memory of Wally was when I was dating my childhood sweet heart and one true love Paul. We went over the Wallys house in the school holidays and he came up to me in all seriousness and asked me if Paul could touch my boob. He was always thinking of his mates. I was so embarrased.
Another time him and a few friends decided it would be safe to have a smoke at school and they found the perfect spot- under the teachers staff room. Of course the smoke went straight up and they got sooo busted.
We also caught the bus in our group to and from school. Wally and Paul were always loaded with money, they mustve had huge allowances. We would get hot chips and fresh bread rolls near the bus station and hang out under the patrick mall car park while they had a fag. I remember it was chips with chicken salt a drink from franklins to save money and a bread roll to make a chip sanga. If we didnt have enough money we could barter with others in the group and we would end up having a good feed.
Those were the days.
David leaves behind 4 children and a partner. My heart goes out to them and his amazing family.
I cant believe how much his little boy looks like him- David take two.
I also came to realize I lost two friends this week :(
I cant go into it and I dont want to right now, maybe in time I will. But I have well and truely lost the only boy/man that I have ever truely loved with every beat in my heart and every breath in my lungs. I have to accept that this is the cards Ive been dealt, I need to live with them no matter how much it hurts. I need to let go, completely. I tried to once but he came back. I even asked him to help me delete all our photos together so I had no memories of our times together but he refused. He wanted me to keep them. I still have my love letters from 20 yrs ago. But all that has to go. My whole life will revolve around my children and my duty as a mother. I now completely understand I will never be happy in my own life and have someone for me but that maybe my purpose in life is to be a mother and nothing else.
So Ive cleansed myself once and for all of this person, all is gone. Im hoping in time I develop enough memory loss that I completely forget.
This week was not a very good week at all :(
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