Happy Fathers Day

Happy Fathers Day!.

I wish I could say it in person and its very hard to be excited on days like today when your no longer here. I miss the fun we use to have, the BBQ's, family time, you asking me to get you a beer 'for an old digger' even though you never fought in any war (the battle of the pacific hotel at Revesby doesn't count dad), the way you would get all excited when we gave you your fathers day presents and rub your hands together and act like the biggest kid carefully pulling the paper off.

I miss you singing Opera (or should I say trying to), when you get up, and how when I made Anzac cookies you would eat them before they cooled and I'd get cranky with you, you said they were better warm.Im not happy you died on mums birthday either, I willed you to live for one more day but in the end you fought a really hard battle right to the very end. You didnt want to go, you never did, you felt really ripped off that you still had so much life to live and couldnt do it, yet some murderer is alive and healthy. You even devised a plan of taking 3 people out with you, in a big shoot out. I had to convince you that if I had to push you in a wheelchair, cork the gun, aim and pull the trigger, it might not be the best idea, we use to have discussions on who our top three would be, depending on the day it would vary, mostly family members or people we hated, just for a laugh.

Cody and Joel really suffer with you not here, sometimes I wish you were here to help me with them because at times Im so lost.

I heard you when I was in labour, you gave me strength to get through it, I have never told anyone you came to me but I knew you were there, thats why I was smiling so much because I knew you had come to see our baby. I didnt even feel weird with you in the labour room, it was comforting knowing you were there.

Christmas will be here again soon and I wont have you to play santa or wear your special apron, higly embarrasing but everyone was so use to us and our silly ways- without you we aren't as silly and fun but I try to be.Thinking of you like I do everyday.You always told me I was your best son!!!