5 years on

This Thursday sees me and my man celebrate 5 years together.
Its hard to say why we are even still together- many bumps and humps on the way and a short break at the beginning of the year helped us realise what we have is really worth holding onto.
I'm not perfect but I love him with all my heart and soul and no one knows me as well as he does, so :

Happy Anniversary Baby, looking forward to celebrating it with you on Thursday.

WHAT THE????

What do they mean when they say near normal life expectancy????
Whats with that, why can't they tell you the truth.

If you got hit by a bus would you not have a near normal life expectancy or would that then become abnormal?

To you from me

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, Im not sure I could
They say time heals everything
But Im still waiting

Im through with doubt
Theres nothing left for me to figure out
Ive paid a price
And Ill keep paying

Im not ready to make nice
Im not ready to back down
Im still mad as hell and
I dont have time to go round and round and round
Its too late to make it right
I probably wouldnt if I could
Cant bring myself to do what it is you think I should

I know you said
Cant you just get over it
It turned my whole world around
And I kind of like it
I made my bed and I sleep like a baby
With no regrets and I dont mind sayin

Im not ready to make nice
Im not ready to back down
Im still mad as hell and
I dont have time to go round and round and round
Its too late to make it right
I probably wouldnt if I could
Cause Im mad as hell
Cant bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Forgive, sounds good
Forget, Im not sure I could
They say time heals everythingBut Im still waiting

The last few days have been spent appreciating those around me and enjoying some much needed time out back at home.

Last friday I went back to the neurologist where he told me he would give me 2 weeks to decide what medications I wanted to start. One is an injection every week that makes you sick, the other is a daily injection with less side affects. Haven't decided yet, will decide at the last minute. The bad news is, I can't fall pregnant on these injections and its not good to come on and off them so I'm weighing up whether to wait a few months or start them now. Right now I don't know.

One thing I love to do with the boys is when I don't feel like cooking we make platters of fruit and cheeses up for dinner and sit down having a little party together. All the boys love their platters and happily sit and eat all the goodies on them. Josh shovels all the fruit in and loves the cheeses, he is even learning how to dip his bickies into the dip. Its very cute. Unfortunately I don't have all my furniture or my nice platters with me so we have to make do with what we have.

Cody is on a holiday with my mum for the next two weeks and only having 2 kids is such a change. It is soooo quiet. I'm not used to it. Its like my left arm is missing.

So everyone pretty much knows Im a big loser, hehe. I took the time the other day to go and see Andrew and Thomas from big brother. The boys were totally bored and I acted like a total spoilt child when they wanted to go home. It put me in a bad mood for the rest of the day. Andrew is extremely good looking and Thomas is sooo tall.

Stephen has been sooo good lately. He is really trying and putting in an effort to make our relationship work. We are currently getting some quotes to build on his 10 acres and hopefully will have something underway soon. This is great as next week is our anniversary. We have had 5 very hard, difficult, and sometimes traumatic years but in the end it is him who stands next to me when times get tough. Relationships can be difficult, no ones perfect but in the end we just asked ourselves do we want to leave and be friends or stay and work things out, we decided to stay and work things out. Lately we have been closer than ever before. He has dealt with having a partner tell him my health will slowly get worse and he stepped up to build us a home and make sure I'm ok and the boys are ok. I don't even have to work next year if I don't want to. I'm planning on getting a really good camera for my birthday and be a mum and photographer for a while and maybe work the odd shift as a midwife. Nothing too heavy. Just caring for my boys and my man.

It was so nice to spend a few days looking at the clearer sky, greener trees and less pollution. Im planning on going home for a whole week next week which will be cool just relaxing.

Saw my Nephew Oskar the other day too. He is such a lovely boy.

My baby brother

I have a baby brother, he is 30 years old and a very sweet boy. Sometimes he shits me with his selfishness and self centredness but most of the time he is very loving and caring and rings me most days to say hello.

He isn't as selfish as my older brother, my baby brother is the one who cuddles me and kisses me and tells me he loves me.

This post is dedicated to my baby bro, who is only 19 months younger than me. I hope one day he will find someone special that has no mental illness and isn't too fertile. Just a normal hard working girl who will appreciate him. Not someone that will lie about being pregnant with TWINS and hide it for months and then not be pregnant at all- no, that wouldn't be very funny, well actually it is funny that someone would do that, I guess they forget I'm a MIDWIFE (well a student one) and might know what I am talking about. Like the fact that humans are not pregnant for 11 months? Although this girl apparently was an elephant.

Anyway back to my baby brother, what a sweety, he would even wipe my arse if I needed him too.

I know he isn't like my other selfish brother and if any posts reflect that then I am sorry my darling little baby brother.

Member the time we stole the pile of newspapers in dads car? It was the V8 Calais with the dukes of hazard horn? Member the stoopid security officer who caught us and I did a massive burn out and pressed the horn? I remember cause the police turned up about an hour later after they traced dads rego and I was in bed reading the paper. After kindly delivering all the papers to our neighbours we then had to go collect them. Yeah that was only a week ago wasn't it...hahahah no we were at least 17, well I was.

Member that time when you pissed on your mates head cause he fell asleep on the grass after spewing in the pool at your party?

Member when we stole the Williams creek sign and then pulled into the servo and tried to fill up the car with petrol only to have a workman come out and tell us the service station wasn't even open as it was still being built?? That was funny.

Member we took my RX7 to that illegal drag meet at Clyde? Thankfully it was raided by the police so we didn't race. I've never seen 5 people jump into a 2 door RX7 before. That was funny.

Member when Nick or Dean would sleep over and we would make them drink the 'special milk shakes'? Nick was the best for that cause he would let us pour tomato sauce down his throat.

So Nathan I Wuv you very very much........

What is MS?

Multiple Sclerosis (abbreviated MS) is a chronic, inflammatory, demyelinating disease that affects the central nervous system (CNS). MS can cause a variety of symptoms, including changes in sensation, visual problems, muscle weakness, depression, difficulties with coordination and speech, severe fatigue, cognitive impairment, problems with balance, overheating, and pain. MS will cause impaired mobility and disability in more severe cases.

Multiple sclerosis affects neurons, the cells of the brain and spinal cord that carry information, create thought and perception, and allow the brain to control the body. Surrounding and protecting some of these neurons is a fatty layer known as the myelin sheath, which helps neurons carry electrical signals. MS causes gradual destruction of myelin (demyelination) and transection of neuron axons in patches throughout the brain and spinal cord. The name multiple sclerosis refers to the multiple scars (or scleroses) on the myelin sheaths. This scarring causes symptoms which vary widely depending upon which signals are interrupted.

Multiple sclerosis may take several different forms, with new symptoms occurring either in discrete attacks or slowly accruing over time. Between attacks, symptoms may resolve completely, but permanent neurologic problems often persist, especially as the disease advances. MS currently does not have a cure, though several treatments are available that may slow the appearance of new symptoms.

MS primarily affects adults, with an age of onset typically between 20 and 40 years, and is more common in women than in men.

Again lifes demands seem to distract me from concentrating on updating my blog which is very frustrating as I luvvv my blog....

To start my frustrating last few days, the whole family became sick last friday, I first thought it was food poisoning but by sunday realized it wasn't.

Poor Stephen came up for the weekend only to go home on sunday sick!!! He ended up having two days off work.

Sunday we managed to drag ourselves out for the day to visit my grandparents- at this stage we still thought it was the FOOD!!!. Came home- Stephen left and I got called in for a delivery.

On monday I went to the neurologist and had an MRI at some stupid hour on tuesday morning. Got the results back today and unfortunately I have MS. Its weird cause I now have a reason to feel the way I do and for the symptoms to make sense and I'm not going completely mad!! Shit happens hey.....
Gotta wait a few more days to see what management plan I will have, nothing much you can do other than make sure I can still wipe my own arse. I'm still going to work, nothing will change, I just get an MS in front of my name instead of MD...lol....

Im sure Ill update again- until then...