Christmas 2006

Have a great Christmas Day

To all my friends and family (and the millions of other people out there checking out my blog),

Although right now Christmas feels like just another day, I wanted to take the opportunity to wish you all a wonderful, safe Christmas and a healthy new year.
This year wont be the same for me. For the past 30 years, or as long as I can remember, this time of year was filled with happiness and fun. My dad would always be the one to pick up his Christmas presents and shake and feel them, he would also count how many he had- and always ask how long until he gets all his goodies!!!

My dad isn't here anymore, If it wasn't for having three beautiful boys, I might not even celebrate this year. It's hard to picture a Christmas day without my dad sitting there with his top off, eating and drinking and playing with us kids and grandkids. It hurts too much to cry anymore, its gone beyond that. Time doesn't heal, it just makes you miss them more.......

Anyway- For all of you who wished me a happy 2006, you ALL SUCK. This year has been terrible. To let you know just how sucky my year has been, I've:

Lost my job for having a baby
Lost my house for going guarantor
Didn't get on the biggest loser
Didn't get on Big Brother
Didn't get on the Australian Princess
Didn't loose weight
Didn't become the next Australian Idol!!! (some foreigner got that!)
Didn't win the lotto

Pretty much just had a shitty year really....

Oh and I had a crap birthday

So in future please don't pass on your well wishes- As you can see, it goes to waste, instead all donations of cash can be made to Me (no cheques please), at my address. Anonymous donations welcome too.

Santa, if you are reading this, I take back all the bad things I have said and done and would really like to win the 33 million on the 30th of December, will gladly share with all the right people.

More on Me

I've been told I'm quiet entertaining and I should have my own reality TV show... I have attempted to become a reality queen numerous times now without success so I have to live my dream of being famous through this blog. The only problem is, the stories are real (although funny) and they all happen to ME.

I guess Yumour is my way around lifes stresses. If I sat here and told you about the bad stuff that has happened I'd bore you, but if I focus on the interesting and funny things, I make myself smile and you laugh too.

Tonight I rang a radio station up to win a prize for the best fart story so I told the one about my mum farting and the XPT train responding.... It was funny cause the next thing I know the announcers are telling me my mum should put out a CD for Christmas 'Meegans Mum Unplugged', it was funny and a HTBT (had to be there) joke....

Its not just me either, my kids are starting to act like me. JOshua ran down in the middle of Cody and Joels presentation at school and screamed so the whole school could see him, all the kids started laughing and I had to take him home as he was too much of a disruption.

I was also cleaning boxes out at home and found my year 4 school report. It clearly stated that I am a performer and a good singer with great ability. Then why did I recieve a first and final warning for singing kareoke at a Christmas party last year??? I should have taken my year 5 report to court as evidence!!!

Some people even suggest I take up stand up comedy??? Can you imagine that?? My next performance appraisal will give me a first and final warning for telling a bad joke.

Did you know I once tried to swim on the front lawn to encourage dad to get a swimming pool and almost severed my throat and tonsils with the snorkel I had in my mouth... That was bad, I had to eat baby food for a week.

Do you remember the movie Dumb and Dumber when they licked the ice??? I've licked the freezer and my tongue got stuck to it...

Did you know I met Nelson Mandella??? Yep I did, he was at the zoo when the 2000 Olympics was on. He was feeding animals and wanted a photo with my boys. I don't think they liked him cause he was a stranger.

Lastly, Is it bad to drink fish tank water???

Becs graduation

I had the honour tonight of going to see a beautiful girl graduate from year 10. It seemed like only yesterday that I graduated from school and today felt very very old!!!

My mate Kylie's 16 year old daughter graduated and looked stunning. I must say, I had a tear in my eye because she looked so beautiful and because I have all boys and won't get that same mother daughter memory!!!!

For the man I truely love with all my heart

Merry Christmas baby....May 2007 be OUR year........

We'll do it all

Everything On our own

We don't need

Anything Or anyone

If I lay here

If I just lay here

Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

I don't quite know

How to say How I feel

Those three words

Are said too much

They're not enough

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

Let's waste time

Chasing cars

Around our heads

I need your grace

To remind me

To find my own

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Forget what we're told

Before we get too old

Show me a garden that's bursting into life

All that I am

All that I ever was

Is here in your perfect eyes, they're all I can see

I don't know where

Confused about how as well

Just know that these things will never change for us at all

If I lay here If I just lay here Would you lie with me and just forget the world?

Snow Patrol- Chasing Cars

10 to 1 williams embarrasing moments

10. My mum once farted and we heard a train in the distance blow its horn in response.

9. My brother opened a can and it spirted all over a mans glasses

8. I licked the freezer and my tongue got stuck to it, my dad pulled my head off and I lost the tip off my tongue.

7. Being shortlisted to marry a complete stranger on radio.

6. Cody telling his teachers he has five dads!!! (he meant 5 uncles).

5. Joel telling his teacher that I was pregnant when I wasn't and then being congratulated in front of all the mums picking their kids up

4. Stephen telling EVERYONE that Joshua fell out!!

3. Cody saying at the top of his voice, 'mum you wear nappies don't you', when we went shopping and walking past the womens hygiene products.

2. kissing my darling boyfriend at 14 yrs old on a train in front of all our class while sharing chewing gum and lollies

1. My skirt blowing up to my neck last week out the front of a school and I wasn't wearing any underwear!!!!!

Got one more: I once got my head stuck in a certain friends sofa lounge and all I remember is not being able to get out and her whole family laughing at me whilst taking photos- Not mentioning anyone inparticular but the Berghofers might of had something to do with that.....

A new meaning to 'soggy sao'

My darling baby boy Joshua decided today he would run around nude after having a swim in the pool. Since it was a hot day, I happily let him run around and play a la natural.....He was eating some chips, kind of like sao's but smaller, he dropped some on the ground and then did a wee on them, before I could stop him he picked one up and ate the chip, wee and all.

Boys are sooooo dirty...... YUCK

The best website ever

This would have to be the best website ever. If you are completely unorganised like me then check it out. It will totally organise your life including telling you when to conduct random acts of kindness.

www.chorebuster.net

No child performer here

I love this photo of Joel. He seemed so impressed that he was sitting in the front row of a concert and had to perform, the video is even funnier!!!

Not your average mummy!!!

I had to share this story. Me being your average, normal mother (NOT!!), I went to pick my boys up from a school disco. I was thinknig back to when I was at school when I had a great idea. I'll dress up and go get them. So I put my best hot pink snake skin leather skirt on, with matching boa and tiara that flashed. I combined that with a hot pink boob tube top and a pretty jacket. The boys just laughed at me when I came to get them. (BTW I also made sure I had matching sparkly pink make up on). They know I'm not part of the tweed brigade (my reference to boring daggy mums). Nope I'm a hip happening mummy that still thinks she is 16 lol.....4eva!!!

Kids and pets don't mix!!!!

I've come to the conclusion that pets and children don't mix!! It all started when we got a new fish tank and put some lovely fishes in there for us all to enjoy- Mr 1 yr old decided that he would feed them and placed the whole tin of fish food in the fish tank along with a baby bottle and butter knife, dear big brother was supposed to be supervising while I was indisposed but thought what was on TV was far more interesting!!! We lost one fish due to over feeding, but I managed to save the remaining. It doesn't end there- Mr 1yr old decided that our two little mice would like a kiss and was going right up to the cage and putting his open mouth on it so the mice could stick their heads in and he could give them a kiss. The two mice and Mr 1yr old are becoming good friends- he feeds them his food and they share theirs with him!!! He did this while I was hanging clothes on the line. If it wasn't for him being incredibly cute, I'd be really angry at him!!!!

I took a photo of him after he had given the mice a kiss!!!

I had to share this with the world so we can watch the changing shape of Kylies Tattoo..... First photo is of her very flat stomach when she first found out she was expecting, the second was taken 2 days ago......Some women have all the luck- a tiny belly ball and thats it!!!!

School Photos

Like every parent, I love getting school photos and will pay a small fortune for the packs so I get a family pack and an individual pack per child. You generally pay up front and get them months later....mmmm.

This year, three days before the photos were to be done, my 10yr old darling son decided to go head first off his bike and take most of the skin off his nose and other parts of his face. It must of really hurt the poor fella, and now, thanks to the school photos, we will have a constant reminder of his bike accident.

Joshua with santa 2005

I love this time of year...... Santa comes to town soon....

It means Santa photos.

I love this one of Joshua taken last year

Mr Right

I didn't expect when I met Mr Right that his first name would be ALWAYS.......

The other night I was invited out for a night with "the girls". I told my husband that I would be home by midnight, "I promise!"Well, the hours passed and the margaritas went down way too easily.
Around 3a.m., a bit worse for wear, I headed for home. Just as I got inthe door, the cuckoo clock in the hall started up and cuckooed 3 times.Quickly, realizing my husband would probably wake up, I cuckooed another9 times. I was really proud of myself for coming up with such a quick-witted solution, in order to escape a possible conflict with him. (Even when totally smashed...3 cuckoos plus 9 cuckoos totals 12 cuckoos =MIDNIGHT!) The next morning my husband asked me what time I got in, and I told him"Midnight".He didn't seem concerned at all. Whew! Got away with that one!
Then he said, "We need a new cuckoo clock."When I asked him why, he said, "Well, last night our clock cuckooed 3 times, then said, "Ohsh*t.", cuckooed 4 more times, cleared its throat, cuckooed another 2 times, giggled, Cuckooed twice more, and then tripped over the coffee table and farted.This is a joke that was sent to me....it wasn't me coming home!!!! Maybe it should be HAHAHA Cant remember the last time I staggered in at that time!!!

Steve Irwin- too funny

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pa_7P5AbUww

Check out this youtube video of Steve Irwin. It is funny and a nice way to remember the fun loving guy that he was.

CHECK OUT THIS ULTRASOUND

This is freaky- today, my friend Kylie had an ultrasound at 19 weeks, we did a 4D one and when we got home we had a look at the photos and found this one with what looks like a mans face in the right hand side of the picture resting on the spine. You can see the eyes, nose, mouth and chin, how freaky. It was great to see the bub moving around- and yes we found out what it was, a little girl, due 2/5/07. Do you think she is being looked after? Kylie has had 11 miscarriages in the last 16 years. This baby is a treasured gift that obviously has someone looking over it and protecting it.

My dad

This is the last photo of my dad. It was on Christmas Day 2005. It seems like only yesterday but still so long ago.

Not really normal

I hate to break it to all my avid fans out there, but I didn't come from a completely normal family. We did and still do the silliest things. We have a Karaoke Machine set up and at every opportunity we use it to entertain ourselves. I like these photos taken on NYE 2004. It reminds me of the days when sickness wasn't the head of our household and the man singing was. My Nephew looks so funny wondering what PA TEZZA (thats what he wanted to be called) was doing!!!!

Sex Discrimination based on pregnancy

On a serious note, reading the Sydney papers again today, I came across Tracey Spicers story. She has been axed as a TV news reporter by channel ten with the assumed reason being her carer responsibilities of that of a mother.

I too know this senario all too well. This time last year I was fired for HAVING a baby. My boss tried to substansiate his claim by listing performance issues such as 'poor karaoke singing', conducting fundraising for my workplace and not giving him the money to prop up the business account. It was also listed that I had a fetish with police (I do like men in uniform) as I called them to the workplace (see story below, EVERY emergency service was called), and the excuses go on and on. He even called the police on me...(now who has the fetish!!!) The bottom line is, I followed my complaint through and even if he paid me $1, I still would of felt vindicated.

I now can thank him as I got to spend the last month full time with my dad.

The only thing I wish for from my situation, is that one day, I will come face to face with him. Me as a nurse and him as my patient. Now thats Karma!!!!

23 days to Christmas

23 days to christmas and I'm counting.... I love Christmas- this year we are celebrating it at MY place so I get to play host, do the chrissy lights, wrap the presents and decorate the table. Since we don't have a fire place, we have a special key for santa to open the front door with and bring the presents in.... I love this time of year. Although its crappy without my dad, I have to continue on for my boys and show them a good time. My dad would of wanted that....

I've done all my Chrissy shopping too. My Chrisco hampers come on the 12th of December so all there is for me to do is wait...

I'm excited also because in just over 6 weeks time I'm going to be a Student Midwife. I can't wait. Although I have to travel 4 hrs to work and back again, (due to the nepotistic nature of a certain Area Health Service that will remain nameless)- Working in a bigger hospital will be better for me in the long run.

Also, Monday is the day Kylie finds out what she is having. She is now 19 weeks pregnant, so I'm excited. Its like I'm going through all the pregnancy with her just without the pain!!! Cool.

All in a Days work---- AGAIN

This is the day I almost watched my work place burn to the ground, tomorrow is the Anniversary and it still remains the most scarest of all days I have ever had. A retirement village on 16Ha almost burnt down and my job as village manager/ Administrator was to evacuate 186 residents- smelling fire and watching ELVIS the helicopter bomb the village with 10's of thousands of litres of water might give some people a small subtle hint that they should leave.... BUT NOOOOO, not my residents, seeing it was a hot day, 2 ladies, who will remain nameless, decided to go for a swim in the village pool. It wasn't until the police came and politely asked the refreshed residents to kindly get out before they became stew.....Another fond memory of that joyous workplace was hopping in the golf cart and with foot to the floor going straight over the larger than average gutters- like a scene out of a Jackass movie, my assistant and I flew through the air with exceptional speed, she still has never let me forget that.

Oh and my favourite of all was the resident that argued because he had fought in wars then he could fight the fire, with his hose pushing out little more pressure than what I can pee- he attempted to put out fires only stopping when some kind police man came and threathened to arrest him......Yep all in a days work alright!!!!

All in a dayzzzz work

How embarrasing!!! Why is it I get conned into going to work on Melbourne Cup Day looking like something out of Fountain Lakes.......

I seriously look like a deranged stalker in these photos.

And to think I was the boss and these two girls were my assistants!!!!!!!

My mate Christine

This is Christine before she became the next Australian Idol......

Meeting Terri Irwin

I had the pleasure of meeting Terri Irwin at Australia Zoo in 2004. She did the croc show while Steve was busy. I think she is an amazing, beautiful woman.

IMPORTANT NOTE TO SELF

Note to Self:

Never, Ever go out on a windy day in a skirt with no underwear!!!!

Here's some friggin happiness

I have taken a vow of poverty. If you really want to annoy me, give me money.

My own biggest loser comp

Ok so forget the idea of being a reality queen, now its my turn to do this weight loss, healthy eating idea myself. Without telling you all how much I actually weigh, I plan on showing this with photos etc. When I'm at a reasonable size I'll let you all know......It may surprise you.....

Want to join in and be a big loser together????? We could support each other via blogs and email......

The photo is of me this time last year. It was at the Ronald MacDonald Chrissy party for Joshua, will keep you posted with my progress.

Storm at Old Bar 1800hrs 28th November 2006

I took this photo of a storm cell from my lounge room window. It was coming straight for my house from the sea. Cool to watch and definately cooled things down after a hot day.

Thought of the day

Ever wondered why they use sterilized needles when someone is facing death by lethal injection??

What do people in China call their crockery if we call it China? Do they eat off Aussies and drink tea out of a kiwi cup?

How did they know what time to start time when it was first invented?

Oskar and Joshua, 2 little old men

Hold onto your good friends because they are few and far between.

Stephen and Joshua

Stephen and Joshua enjoying riding on a tracker

He is my son!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I didn't realise but the photo of my son Joel and me at 14 are similar- we are pulling the same face!!!!

This time last year

This time last year I was at the Opera house watching the finale of Australian Idol. We met Millie who was really nice and we showed her how to get to a chemist!!! Saw lots of stars and the outdoor performance. Was pretty cool.

My Mates Matt and Paul

My school mates Matthew Arnold and Paul Rose. We had a BBQ at my place in October 2006. I'm wearing my original year 12 jersey- tight but still fits

Joshua Thomas Williams-Malouf

This is Joshua after he was born. He was flown to John Hunter Hospital with a respiratory disease. He needed to be ventilated for the first week, but is perfect now, you wouldn't even know he was born sick.

I'm thankful for everything I have and wouldn't have it any other way.

Santa has gone

Who will play Santa now that he is gone

No one to eat the cookies or drink the milk

No one to set the presents up and leave footprints in the driveway

No one to see that we all have a good day

Mrs Claus has to fill his place

But an empty space is there

that no one can fill

This year will not be the same now that Santa is gone

A drop bear

We found this koala on our property.....

Poor thing fell out of the tree.....

Oh Brother what a loser!!!

Ok Ok, I have something to admit.....

Yes I did audition for the biggest loser and bummed out at the last 50!!!

AND....

Yes I did try out for Big Brother, but obviously they don't appreciate good humour and instead are focusing on the same old smut....

The audition process was fun though, would do it again just to do the auditions......

My 3 sons

My three boys. Cody, Joel and Joshua. No pinks in my house, all blue.

Oskars Fall

This is my Nephew after he fell down a flight of stairs. I had to share this graphic photo with you, its frightening!! More frightening that on the way to the hospital they took a photo of it!!!! Oskar had 17 stitches.....OUCH

....

My DAD

My Dad is the bestest Dad in the whole wide world. He died on my mums birthday in January 2006. I miss him every day and it kills me to know that I will never have a dad to walk me down the asle. But I know he isn't suffering anymore and he is with me in spirit every single day.

Dinner- Saturday 18th November Newtown

A few of us from school got together last saturday and had a great night out in Newtown. Lovely to catch up with everyone, especially Carolynne and Lorelle. Natalie Duckworth came even though she is a week away from having her first bub and Amanda Parsons is now 28 weeks and looking beautiful!!

My friend Kylie

My mate Kylie is expecting OUR baby. She is almost 18 weeks and I get to see what it is like from a fathers point of view. We find out the sex on the 4th of December and looking forward to hopefully seeing a little doodle!!! But any baby will do.

My Mate Megan

I'm so lucky to have a great friend in Megan. She is more than a friend, more than a sister even. I think she is the bravest person ever and love it when we hang out or talk on the phone. She will never know how much I truely love and respect her and I think she is wonderful.

I can't wait to spend NYE with her.

My nephew Oskar

Just the cutest photo ever! I guess he was annoyed at all the photos we were taking of him!

Wednesday 22nd November 2006

My first post!! Wow! What a massive day I've had today. I suppose I should note my good news. I got into my MIDWIFERY course! I start work as a student midwife in January. Its something I've always wanted to do. So look out if you are giving birth anytime soon.